It's strange to think that this time last year we had just moved into this house. Cory was pretty discouraged about that fact, but willing to do what the Lord was obviously leading us to do. I was pregnant at the time and having some severe health concerns including anemia that was so bad I was advised to get a blood transfusion. I had also had to quit a medication I was on which caused with drawls. Something I would hate to see anyone I know have to go through. So between lack of sleep and the constant nausea, and all the other things I was terrified for the baby, that she wouldn't make it. I shed a lot of tears and prayed for my unborn many hours of the nights. Kendra and Carter (as kids do) could sense things were wrong. Kendra just became more restless and crazy. She became the wild child times 3. I felt sad and guilty because I just didn't have the energy to deal with her. I was concentrating on trying to eat and trying to get more than 4 hours of sleep at night. I think God knew it was to much for me to deal with myself, and He sent help from my mom, my sisters, and my friends. It was...humbling.
Carter just felt insecure and wanted to sit on my lap all the time (which I couldn't do because I was huge pregnant) so I'd have him sit next to me and we read a lot of stories. But I wanted to hold him so bad. One day we went to the Chiropractor and he picked Carter up and hugged him and swung him around after he was done. He said, "Carter you're getting so big, we won't be able to do this much longer will we." I burst into tears. It was embarrassing.
I was so scared and uncertain at that time, for the baby, myself, taking care of my kids, Having time for Cory, even just having the will to live. It was pretty dark. I remember the over whelming feeling washing over me and feeling like I was drowning. I begged and begged God to help me, and I finally came to a point where I was able to let go, and just give it all to Him. I was able to let the darkness come and embrace it and accept it and trust Him through it. It isn't something I can explain, but it was a turning point for me, and He led me through and never left my side. Now I look back and I am just so amazed. I have a beautiful healthy little daughter, my health is better than it's been in years. Kendra has such a vibrant warm personality and has come to a better knowledge of God and His love. She keeps me on my toes but I love her more than ever. Carter has become quite a personality and he is my snuggly tenderhearted boy but prefers people to recognize him as a "tough". I can hold him all I want now. Cory has just been as steady as a rock through it all and has a new spark these days. I love him so very much. He is truly the other side of me and it takes these difficult times to bring out the fine metal in a man. Yup, he's my tried and true. Even our house, lets just say, I've lived in worse.=) It's also been fun to have a wonderful new sister-in-law and see my other siblings meeting some pretty special people. Over all I think that God has blessed my family and I so greatly. I'm also thankful that when things in this life seem to be beyond what we can bear, there is another life to look forward to with the Lord Jesus Himself. All because of His great love and forgiveness that He has shown to us.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
So I was at the grocery store and wanted to pay cash for some diapers and baby food. I counted my money and realized I didn't have quite enough. SO I told the cashier I needed to dig out my credit card. As I was digging, the guy in line behind me said, "I ain't got no kids and I ain't never bought no kids nothin. Just add this order to my bill." Just like that the guy paid for my stuff. I remonstrated and tried to dissuade him, but he was unmovable. I finally was so embarrassed I just gave in. The weird thing was, he looked a LOT like Cory's grandpa. I've had a few things like that happen to me before but I never know how to respond... other than profusely saying thank you.So I was at the grocery store and wanted to pay cash for some diapers and baby food. I counted my money and realized I didn't have quite enough. SO I told the cashier I needed to dig out my credit card. As I was digging, the guy in line behind me said, "I ain't got no kids and I ain't never bought no kids nothin. Just add this order to my bill." Just like that the guy paid for my stuff. Last year, someone paid my fine at the library. Another time I went to buy a coffee and she told me the lady before me had paid for whoever came next, so I got free coffee. Yesterday a guy gave Carter and Kendra each a gold dollar, and said "merry Christmas." Complete strangers. It's awkward, but at the same time...it's good to know people do random acts of kindness. Makes me think I should do that kind of thing more often.
Friday, December 9, 2011
So, right now our adventures include, Carter slamming Kaely's fingers in the door, Kendra throwing Carter's beloved bear in the garabage and holding the door shut so he couldn't get in, Kendra and Carter getting into the cough drops and consuming the whole bag, Kendra winding yarn around her finger till it turned blue and then discovering she couldn't get it off ( thank God for fiskers), Kendra getting into my eyeliner and coloring in her eyebrows (see picture), Carter splintering a glass train ornament all over the living room. Kaely climbing up the bench and getting stuck between the the back of the bench and the wall....was she mad! And some how amidst the hubbub, I've been "trying" to pack up the kids for an overnight visit to the cities tonight. So despite the rough start, we WILL have fun christmas caroling with all the relatives tonight! Kendra loves to ask people if they believe in Santa Clause and then she tells them that we celebrate Jesus instead "cuz He's real". It's slightly awkward, but I love her honesty. =D
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I love this time of year. We've been listening to Christmas music and decorating the house, and dancing around the kitchen (the kids and I, not Cory.) Kids put so much extra fun into the holidays. Well, mostly...
We were decorating the Christmas tree last night. We got what I think is a green spruce, which has really hard poky needles on it. Yeah, that's to discourage kids from yanking ornaments off the tree and possibly tipping the tree over. Maybe you already have guessed where this story is going. So anyway, amidst much frustration and multiple painful pokes frome pine needles ( now I know why they use the term needle), I got the "working" strings of lights untangled and on the tree. It was time to break out the ornaments. Excited kids = happy kids...somehow in all the confusion of kids leaping around, someone lassoed the tree with a string of beads and gave it a good hard yank. Yup, the entire tree came crashing down right on Carter and Kaely. It was like slow motion all three kids screaming at the top of their lungs, me waving my arms and telling them to get out of the way and trying to catch the tree at the same time. I spose it looked funny. Well, we somehow all came out alive, and Carter did a great job of protecting his baby sister frome those razor sharp needles. (WHY did we think a green spruce was a good idea?!) So there I was, surveying the damage, pine needles and water everywhere, the tree knocked out of it's stand, and all 3 kids crying. The only logical thing to do...I called for backup. Unfortunately it just so happened that Cory had just shot a deer and had to track it, so I couldn't expect any help from that department. "You're on your own Momma..." I armed myself with 2 pliers, a scizzors and a rope. Then I shooed the kids out as I hauled the wretched tree up again and screwed it into the stand. Side note; our floor has a 6 inch slant from one side to the other so balancing the stand, tree and everything on it was quite a trick but I got the thing, finally. I am now telling the fam to enjoy it because I seriously don't know if I want to go through all this again, next year. By the time I was done, I was soaking wet, stabbed by pine needles, full of sap and mud, and a spider from the tree had dropped on me. I was triumphant in a cranky sort of way. Then Kendra after surveying the whole thing said, "Mommy you are so beautiful and strong and fixed our tree forever!" Carter nodded in agreement and said, "Mommy, I like you....but I don't like snakes."
I guess it was worth it. =]