Sometimes it's easy to make it sound like life is perfect, especially on facebook or in public.. or wherever. But the truth is, no ones life is perfect, and I'm no different. We all have our struggles and darkness, frustrations, fears, worries, etc, that we don't publicly proclaim to the world. That's a good thing probably because it would most likely cause more harm than good. (Of course, those generally ARE the things that are the most interesting. Hearing all about how everything is perfect, can be a little nauseating sometimes.=D) Do you ever read people's posts and feel like, "Wow! She has got it together! Great parent, great kids, gorgeous, everything perfect in life..........infuriating." I laugh about it, but I think I do that myself sometimes and mistakenly paint a public picture of the ideals that I "want" but not necessarily have. =)
So, I'll get to the point. I have been through some really REALLY hard times. I don't say that to brag or get attention, but I say it in thankfulness. Thankfulness, because when I lost all hope of ever living a normal, or even bearable life, yet, I have come out of that dark place, and thank God, I am blessed with so many good things. To be able to wake up and face the day, to be able to do things, take care of my home and family, to enjoy friendship and fellowship, even just to be able to eat and sleep normally. I feel so privileged to be able to help or just be with my family and friends with their troubles and to know real compassion, because I've been through difficulty myself and I will never forget. Even when hard times come, they can't last forever, and that's one of those promises I hang onto.
Last thing I wrote about is how much I love diving into hobby farming. Now I feel a little guilty because its not really that realistic. I really do love it, but there are downsides, too. A great flourishing garden means picking ripe produce in the hot sun and bugs (giant yellow spiders), hours and hours of canning, cutting, and freezing veggies. Picking out bugs and worms, washing, and then doing it all over again, and again, etc.... then there's the kids having a knack for getting into the dirtiest smelliest places and tracking it all into the house before I can stop them. Then it's time for major scrubbing and laundry has to be done NOW, because I WILL NOT have a house that smells like a barn. (Today it was their pillows that they smuggled out to the barn to have a pillow fight in the haymow..and then put all the kitties on them... on the floor and wonder why I wouldn't let them put their pillows back in their beds. Wow. Count slowly to ten.) Then there are all the things that they want to bring in the house....rocks, leaves, sticks, nails, mud stew, frogs, and most recently a giant pet spider in a very unsecure looking jar. I was VERY firm about NO spiders in the house, even pet ones. I did feel a little guilty when it rained and the spider drowned from the water the jar collected when I saw Carters devastation. Not guilty enough to let him bring his next pet spider in though. Hah!
Then there's having to take care of the pigs when Cory's gone, which I hate, because I'm terrified to be in the pen with them. Or having to help inject sick piggy with an antibiotic while Cory tries to hold it. That was NOT fun. Oh and then there's the nasty flue bug we just have been getting over. I got a break from canning for a day. So I could go on and on about the mishaps and situations we get ourselves into, but the moral of the story is...maybe its those not so great things that make me appreciate the good stuff more.... And then I can either laugh about them, or learn from them.