I didn't really finish my appendix story, so I'll wrap it up, here. A few interesting facts, an appendix should normally be about the size of your pinkie finger nail. Mine was the size of an orange. No wonder it hurt! I also have some really nasty, but fascinating pictures the Dr gave me. I've been contemplating whether I should post them or not.
 Anyway, after that first night my fever broke, and the next morning they had me up walking around and sitting up as much as possible. All I can say about that is ouch. I also couldn't eat for a few days or take my meds because the didn't have an IV version of it.
 The nursing staff was awesome though. They bent over backwards for me, from getting me stuff to drink that wasn't available, to guarding me from unwanted visitors. They were a lot of fun too. We had some good jokes going on. Cory came every evening after work and spent a few hours with me. We had some good heart to heart talks about a wide range of things. I didn't realize how hard it has been for us to do that uninterrupted.  Just to sit and talk with my husband was so nice. I think he really needed it too. This whole think kinda shook him up. Then after he'd leave I would have a tough time. That's when I was in the most pain and also dealing with issues from not being able to take my meds. That's when one of the nurses would come and hang out with me. She was about 45 and had a main of golden hair. (I called her the lioness.) and she would tell me stories. It was perfect. The best thing to distract me from how awful I felt. I learned all about how she met her husband and how they fell in love and about her kids, and all sorts of stuff. She was a great story teller. It turned out she knew my mother in law. Weird!
 Finally after a week, they allowed me to go home. When I got home I was so happy I cried. Then I had friends and family coming over every day to help me with everything. I couldn't lift or do much. I was suffering from a guilt complex. I felt so guilty for not being able to do what I normally do, and felt like I was a burden to people. I felt so terrible inconveniencing them. I always struggle with that kind of thing. Poor Cory would come home at night and say, something like, "what are the cups doing in the pots and pans cupboard"...and that's all it would take to set me off and I'd burst into tears and feel like it was my fault and I was a failure and then after he got over his astonishment. (I don't normally break down very easy) he'd have to reassure me. =) I think it's funny now.
 So things have gradually gotten better and better, and despite my impatience, I've gotten pretty much back to normal. =) Now I'm just dealing with kids puking all over the house. Lysol and Resolve are my best friends these days. (Kendra and Carter both thought they were catching appendicitis when they got sick.)

ruptured appendix HURTS

   Last Monday, I started getting some bad stomach aches, which I thought was the flu that's been going around. So I just took it easy on the couch with the heating pad and let Cory take over the family for the night. It was getting worse and worse and I started to think maybe it was food poisoning. I banished Cory to the living room because I didn't want to keep him up all night and tried to get some sleep myself. Didn't happen. Then I started throwing up. Over and over. I found that while I was throwing up I would forget the pain for a minute while I threw up, but as soon as I was done it would be just as bad. After a while I didn't have anything left to puke up and it was pure misery while I hacked and coughed with dry heaves. I was thinking to myself, "Wow, this is the worst flu I've ever had. Good thing Cory's in the living room or I'd be keeping him awake all night." when morning FINALLY arrived, I was throwing up a greenish substance and every time I opened my eyes, the room just kind of swirled around. I knew I was very dehydrated. I also noticed that the pain was on the right side especially bad. When I talked to Cory about it, he couldn't believe I hadn't woken him up. He reluctantly left for work but made me promise to call him if it got too bad. He figured I had the same flu his friend had recently had. He apparently had experienced stomach aches that just doubled him over in pain. So before Cory left, he called my mom to come over and help with the kids. By noon I wasn't getting any better and it felt like had fiery knives in my stomach. There was no let up and I felt like it was getting worse. I was reaching the end of my endurance so I finally called Mom into my room and asked her if she thought it could be appendicitis. ( she had it years ago.) She asked where it hurt, and if it was the lower right side. I affirmed, and she asked if I pushed the spot gently and let go if it hurt a lot more. I tried it and nearly went through the roof. That's when mom started getting a worried look. "Maybe it's time to call Cory," she said. She went and made the call, since I wasn't talking too well at this point.
  Cory said that as soon as he got the call from mom he knew it wasn't good, so he left work right away, and brought me to the nearest hospital. NOT my favorite hospital but it was the closest and at that point I didn't much care. We got there and it's kind of a blur in my memory at that point. All I remember is crying and gasping with pain, and telling Cory to make them give me something for the pain. Oh, yeah, and there was a nurse I really liked named Reggi, with pretty hair. I know Cory was trying to reassure me that they were getting me some morphine as fast as they could. It was really only about 20 minutes from the time I got there and the Dr. examined me and they came in with the pain meds, but then we ran into a new problem. I was so dehydrated that they couldn't get a vein for the IV. Terrible! The weird thing was, I couldn't even feel them poking me because my arms were almost completely numb. I could barely move my fingers. The nurse gave up and went and got an older nurse and she finally got the IV in. Then, oh, wonderful, blessed relief. The pain was still there, but I could at least relax and it didn't feel like hot knives of fire twisting in my gut. And I could breathe too. That was nice. I got a cat scan and blood drawn and a all that good stuff, and the doctor came in shortly and said, He thought it was appendicitis but needed to check the cat scan results. Cory made the phone calls to family and they were all praying. Carter specifically wanted Daddy to know he was praying for his mommy.
   The doctor came back in then and told us not only did I have appendicitis but that it had ruptured and looked very bad. He said we'd need to operate right away, and explained that they would try and do I think it was called "laroscopic" surgery, but if the appendix was twisted behind the colen it would have to be much more extensive. My response was,"good! Then I'll never have to go through this again." I had been so afraid it was just a kidney stone or flu.
I used the bathroom before the anesthesiologists came and I couldn't believe it when I looked in the mirror. My face was dead white like I've never seen it before. I guess that's when it sunk in that I really was in a serious way.
 Next thing I knew I was waking up. I was so glad it was over, but I felt so weak and...heavy. It was strange. Then Cory came, and that was good. Very good. The Dr. explained that they had been able to do the laroscopic surgery, but that it had been a very bad rupture and that the infection was wide spread. I was informed that I would have a fever that night and the nurses would check on me every hour. This was apparently a crucial time to be watched. They had me on a lot of morphine though, so I didn't actually feel that bad. Other than the fact that I had a nose tube thing and it hurt to breathe, and a catheter and an IV, and I was SO thirsty and could only have ice chips. It was almost kind of humorous. Then Cory said my face was getting red, and that I looked more flushed than he'd ever seen me, and sure enough, my temp was spiking.
 

Christmas was surprisingly low-key and relaxed this year. I was surprised. Usually I look forward to Christmas with a kind of excitement mixed with dread. We began the festivities with a trip to the cities caroling with my cousins and their kids and my fam. First to grandma and then to their local neighborhood. Then we stayed overnight and had a great time talking with my cousin Marisha and her husband after the kids went to bed (not to sleep, just to bed). Then we had out little family Christmas. The night before, Cory and I were trying to watch a movie and all we could hear was a shower of pine needles raining down on the presents. The next day our presents were buried and the tree was half bald. So right away in the morning we did the presents and then got rid of the infamous tree. Talk about getting stabbed with multiple pine needles from the tree and the carpet on our way out. Cory got it out the door as pine needles exploded from it in every direction, and chucked it right down our front porch. Neighbors probably got a chuckle out of seeing the bald tree in front of our house the day before Christmas. Then we had our annual Christmas feast with fancy dishes and all. Then we had story time, first the Christmas story which we (helped) the kids tell us, and we told them stories of Christmases we had as kids. It was so much fun.
   Next day we had Christmas at Cory's mom's. The kids were amazingly good.
   Christmas day we had church an hour early. The kids all sang some Christmas carols they'd been working on in Sunday School. We then went to mom's for Christmas. Their 1st Christmas at their new house. We had some rousing conversations, and once again the kids were amazingly good.
   Then we took another trip to the cities and went out for lunch with my grandma, aunts and uncle. It was a special time.
   New Years we celebrated Christmas with Cory's Dad's side.
   This weekend we have a Christmas party with all Cory's extended family on his Dad's side. Whew! I guess that doesn't sound very relaxing, but it was more spread out than it usually is, and we were able to enjoy things rather than just a huge hectic rush. Now we're almost done and I feel...relieved! =) It went well and the kids were the best they've ever been and amazingly no one got sick!
Oh, and did I mention...my brother just got engaged...
   Once again it was good to look back on the years hardships and blessings and be thankful for the Lord's faithfulness and His gift of love to us.

It's strange to think that this time last year we had just moved into this house. Cory was pretty discouraged about that fact, but willing to do what the Lord was obviously leading us to do. I was pregnant at the time and having some severe health concerns including anemia that was so bad I was advised to get a blood transfusion. I had also had to quit a medication I was on which caused with drawls. Something I would hate to see anyone I know have to go through. So between lack of sleep and the constant nausea, and all the other things I was terrified for the baby, that she wouldn't make it. I shed a lot of tears and prayed for my unborn many hours of the nights. Kendra and Carter (as kids do) could sense things were wrong. Kendra just became more restless and crazy. She became the wild child times 3. I felt sad and guilty because I just didn't have the energy to deal with her. I was concentrating on trying to eat and trying to get more than 4 hours of sleep at night. I think God knew it was to much for me to deal with myself, and He sent help from my mom, my sisters, and my friends. It was...humbling.
 Carter just felt insecure and wanted to sit on my lap all the time (which I couldn't do because I was huge pregnant) so I'd have him sit next to me and we read a lot of stories. But I wanted to hold him so bad. One day we went to the Chiropractor and he picked Carter up and hugged him and swung him around after he was done. He said, "Carter you're getting so big, we won't be able to do this much longer will we." I burst into tears. It was embarrassing.
 I was so scared and uncertain at that time, for the baby, myself, taking care of my kids, Having time for Cory, even just having the will to live. It was pretty dark. I remember the over whelming feeling washing over me and feeling like I was drowning. I begged and begged God to help me, and I finally came to a point where I was able to let go, and just give it all to Him. I was able to let the darkness come and embrace it and accept it and trust Him through it. It isn't something I can explain, but it was a turning point for me, and He led me through and never left my side. Now I look back and I am just so amazed. I have a beautiful healthy little daughter, my health is better than it's been in years. Kendra has such a vibrant warm personality and has come to a better knowledge of God and His love. She keeps me on my toes but I love her more than ever. Carter has become quite a personality and he is my snuggly tenderhearted boy but prefers people to recognize him as a "tough". I can hold him all I want now. Cory has just been as steady as a rock through it all and has a new spark these days. I love him so very much. He is truly the other side of me and it takes these difficult times to bring out the fine metal in a man. Yup, he's my tried and true. Even our house, lets just say, I've lived in worse.=)  It's also been fun to have a wonderful new sister-in-law and see my other siblings meeting some pretty special people. Over all I think that God has blessed my family and I so greatly. I'm also thankful that when things in this life seem to be beyond what we can bear, there is another life to look forward to with the Lord Jesus Himself. All because of His great love and forgiveness that He has shown to us.

odd experiences

So I was at the grocery store and wanted to pay cash for some diapers and baby food. I counted my money and realized I didn't have quite enough. SO I told the cashier I needed to dig out my credit card. As I was digging, the guy in line behind me said, "I ain't got no kids and I ain't never bought no kids nothin. Just add this order to my bill." Just like that the guy paid for my stuff. I remonstrated and tried to dissuade him, but he was unmovable. I finally was so embarrassed I just gave in. The weird thing was, he looked a LOT like Cory's grandpa. I've had a few things like that happen to me before but I never know how to respond... other than profusely saying thank you.So I was at the grocery store and wanted to pay cash for some diapers and baby food. I counted my money and realized I didn't have quite enough. SO I told the cashier I needed to dig out my credit card. As I was digging, the guy in line behind me said, "I ain't got no kids and I ain't never bought no kids nothin. Just add this order to my bill." Just like that the guy paid for my stuff. Last year, someone paid my fine at the library. Another time I went to buy a coffee and she told me the lady before me had paid for whoever came next, so I got free coffee. Yesterday a guy gave Carter and Kendra each a gold dollar, and said "merry Christmas." Complete strangers. It's awkward, but at the same time...it's good to know people do random acts of kindness. Makes me think I should do that kind of thing more often.

Some Misadventures

So, right now our adventures include, Carter slamming Kaely's fingers in the door, Kendra throwing Carter's beloved bear in the garabage and holding the door shut so he couldn't get in, Kendra and Carter getting into the cough drops and consuming the whole bag, Kendra winding yarn around her finger till it turned blue and then discovering she couldn't get it off ( thank God for fiskers), Kendra getting into my eyeliner and coloring in her eyebrows (see picture), Carter splintering a glass train ornament all over the living room. Kaely climbing up the bench and getting stuck between the the back of the bench and the wall....was she mad! And some how amidst the hubbub, I've been "trying" to pack up the kids for an overnight visit to the cities tonight. So despite the rough start, we WILL have fun christmas caroling with all the relatives tonight! Kendra loves to ask people if they believe in Santa Clause and then she tells them that we celebrate Jesus instead "cuz He's real". It's slightly awkward, but I love her honesty. =D

Christmas is Coming...

I love this time of year. We've been listening to Christmas music and decorating the house, and dancing around the kitchen (the kids and I, not Cory.) Kids put so much extra fun into the holidays. Well, mostly...

We were decorating the Christmas tree last night. We got what I think is a green spruce, which has really hard poky needles on it. Yeah, that's to discourage kids from yanking ornaments off the tree and possibly tipping the tree over. Maybe you already have guessed where this story is going. So anyway, amidst much frustration and multiple painful pokes frome pine needles ( now I know why they use the term needle), I got the "working" strings of lights untangled and on the tree. It was time to break out the ornaments. Excited kids = happy kids...somehow in all the confusion of kids leaping around, someone lassoed the tree with a string of beads and gave it a good hard yank. Yup, the entire tree came crashing down right on Carter and Kaely. It was like slow motion all three kids screaming at the top of their lungs, me waving my arms and telling them to get out of the way and trying to catch the tree at the same time. I spose it looked funny. Well, we somehow all came out alive, and Carter did a great job of protecting his baby sister frome those razor sharp needles. (WHY did we think a green spruce was a good idea?!) So there I was, surveying the damage, pine needles and water everywhere, the tree knocked out of it's stand, and all 3 kids crying. The only logical thing to do...I called for backup. Unfortunately it just so happened that Cory had just shot a deer and had to track it, so I couldn't expect any help from that department. "You're on your own Momma..." I armed myself with 2 pliers, a scizzors and a rope. Then I shooed the kids out as I hauled the wretched tree up again and screwed it into the stand. Side note; our floor has a 6 inch slant from one side to the other so balancing the stand, tree and everything on it was quite a trick but I got the thing, finally. I am now telling the fam to enjoy it because I seriously don't know if I want to go through all this again, next year. By the time I was done, I was soaking wet, stabbed by pine needles, full of sap and mud, and a spider from the tree had dropped on me. I was triumphant in a cranky sort of way. Then Kendra after surveying the whole thing said, "Mommy you are so beautiful and strong and fixed our tree forever!" Carter nodded in agreement and said, "Mommy, I like you....but I don't like snakes."

I guess it was worth it. =]